What's the worst thing you've had explode/leak/spill inside a bag or pannier?
mine was a bag of powdered drugs, whole gaddamn swift bag covered in the stuff - the double loss of messy bag and ruined drugs :(
madamimadam
Posted: Wed Jun 07, 2017 7:28 pm
Joined: 13 Jul 2012Posts: 161
Soysauce....
Bo Ttorff
Posted: Wed Jun 07, 2017 8:07 pm
GO SEAHAWKS!! 12 for LYFEJoined: 20 Jul 2011Posts: 3092Location: King County
I like the idea of this thread.
Beer. Always beer. Stinks, ruins shit, waste of good beer, etc.
caustic meatloaf
Posted: Wed Jun 07, 2017 8:14 pm
Joined: 06 Dec 2010Posts: 1235537Location: a hammy melange...
Does a pile of dried cum encrusted naked dick pics count?
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mark
Posted: Wed Jun 07, 2017 8:26 pm
Joined: 28 Oct 2010Posts: 263Location: First Hill
stinky wet wool socks that had dried inside. this last winter was wet.
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TorreyK
Posted: Wed Jun 07, 2017 8:52 pm
Joined: 02 Sep 2009Posts: 1116Location: White Center/Burien
Joeball mountain, 2010 or 2011, Eric the Beard had a beer or two explode on his sleeping bag. He spent the whole evening drying it out over the fire while we all ate Joby nachos.
For me personally, beer on my down pillow, over and over again.
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jeff
Posted: Wed Jun 07, 2017 9:29 pm
SOC pussyJoined: 05 May 2006Posts: 4501
I bought an Ortlieb bag on Craigslist for $40 and used it for a few year before I wore a hole in the bottom. Joby put me in touch with someone at the company and I emailed them photos, then sent them the bag. A week later they sent me a brand new bag. I've been using it since January 27, 2011.
More of a bag success story, really.
TooTall
Posted: Wed Jun 07, 2017 11:24 pm
Joined: 29 Aug 2014Posts: 690
I saw Nurse Justin explode an entire carton of OJ (full pulp) in his messenger bag at Disco Park. That was a whole lotta, aw maaan... reaaally... awww maaan.
it never happenedJoined: 13 Mar 2008Posts: 1142Location: Wallenfjord
jar of capers
Marley
Posted: Thu Jun 08, 2017 7:17 am
Joined: 08 Sep 2014Posts: 428
I thought it'd be a good idea to take dill pickles in a ziplock bag on the Dalles Mountain ride. Turns out Ziplock bags aren't really waterproof when you don't seal them.
My sugarloaf still smells like pickle juice.
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ksep
Posted: Thu Jun 08, 2017 7:17 am
Joined: 27 Jan 2007Posts: 1879Location: Westlake
Once while riding up 4th Ave downtown by City Hall a bird pooped directly onto the shoulder strap of my Chrome messenger bag. Right in the velcro.
Shout out to my Ortliebs for being easy to clean and dry spilt beer from Thursday night "empties."
_________________ -Kevin
rob
Posted: Thu Jun 08, 2017 7:21 am
Joined: 28 Jul 2007Posts: 1315Location: Columbia City
Marley wrote:
I thought it'd be a good idea to take dill pickles in a ziplock bag on the Dalles Mountain ride. Turns out Ziplock bags aren't really waterproof when you don't seal them.
My sugarloaf still smells like vinegar husband juice.
I love that word filter
langston
Posted: Thu Jun 08, 2017 8:57 am
Joined: 25 Jul 2005Posts: 5547Location: Columbia City
I adopted a cat that was very high-need emotionally. When she felt neglected, she would retaliate with pissing in whatever smelled like me the most. Know what smells a lot like me? My messenger bag in the summer when I'm sweating directly into it.
It's still under my bench in the shop, reeking of piss, long since replaced. I also shipped the cat off to my (now) in-laws.
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blasdelf
Posted: Thu Jun 08, 2017 1:14 pm
BAD NAVIGATORJoined: 01 Mar 2010Posts: 1505
several bananas pulverized by a can of steel reserve that then burst in my giant porteur bag
-or-
fried shrimp that escaped their takeout container into the rest of the rando bag
ride bikes
Posted: Thu Jun 08, 2017 1:26 pm
Joined: 12 Oct 2012Posts: 1493Location: Pundercover
Pelmeni dumplings... several times. I apparently haven't learned my lesson about hitting Tzar blacked-out drunk on my way home from Thurs. rides.
My raincoat actually smells lightly of pelmeni... could be worse.
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fourfingersdown
Posted: Thu Jun 08, 2017 1:34 pm
r.w. = rainn wilson!Joined: 21 Mar 2008Posts: 1078Location: NOT FUCKING ENGLAND
rob wrote:
Marley wrote:
I thought it'd be a good idea to take dill pickles in a ziplock bag on the Dalles Mountain ride. Turns out Ziplock bags aren't really waterproof when you don't seal them.
My sugarloaf still smells like vinegar husband juice.
I love that word filter
One of the best
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dashap
Posted: Thu Jun 08, 2017 1:41 pm
professorJoined: 21 Jun 2006Posts: 1566Location: central district
A bottle of red wine when I set my bag down on the concrete too quickly. I had some explaining to do to my students whose papers got stained. I also had a book from the UW library that was ruined; appropriately enough, it was entitled _The Wine of Solitude._
hitbyambulance
Posted: Thu Jun 08, 2017 2:25 pm
Joined: 09 Jan 2016Posts: 108Location: Greed Lake
pad kee mao, i've learned my lesson now
Andrew_Squirrel
Posted: Thu Jun 08, 2017 2:49 pm
Joined: 01 Mar 2010Posts: 2098Location: Greenwood
Marijuana infused oil from a vaporizer pen that got flipped upside down and escaped.
That shit is sticky & tenacious.
All future vape pens now live in a snack baggie when not in use.
caustic meatloaf
Posted: Thu Jun 08, 2017 2:52 pm
Joined: 06 Dec 2010Posts: 1235537Location: a hammy melange...
oh! I did spill water from my waterpipe in my bag once. that was nasty.
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hitbyambulance
Posted: Thu Jun 08, 2017 3:35 pm
Joined: 09 Jan 2016Posts: 108Location: Greed Lake
i just remembered yearsssss ago when i had a jar of hair dye in my bag. i remember giving the bag to the coat check person at First Ave nightclub (this was back in Minneapolis) who then kicked it under a rack. i got it back later and noticed the tinkling of glass (and the damp'n'leaking bottom of the bag). half of the bag and the CDs, books, etc in it were forever colored magenta.
J_Dada
Posted: Thu Jun 08, 2017 3:56 pm
Down 2 FUNKJoined: 14 Oct 2012Posts: 1274
I've never had anything bad explode in a bag because I think about what I'm doing before I go sticking things in other things.
Well, sometimes.
walker
Posted: Thu Jun 08, 2017 3:57 pm
Joined: 05 Aug 2015Posts: 1855Location: beastcake
this isn't really bike related but because we're talking about bongwater in bags...
when i was 17 i was one of the three bad kids at this summer school. we snuck out on a sunday and one of the bad trio's friends picked us up in their minivan and we drove around and took bong rips. we picked up this one hilarious scrawny redheaded kid called Smitty who was wearing a giant white t down to his knees that just said, in block lettering, LE GAL IZE. He was actually a pretty rad dude, as if a middle aged highly functional stoner somehow got trapped in a high school kid's body.
anyways, at one point we were driving past the state pen and the driver (who hadn't even taken a rip yet) reached back to hand the big stupid bong to me and immediately smashed into the car in front of us, totaling the minivan. Smitty jumps out, tells the passengers of the other car that we would be kicked out of school if we didn't immediately get back, and came back to the car. at this point i'm nervously pacing outside. he walks up, gives me a backpack, tells me the other car is OK with the three of us leaving, and that i should leave right this second with the backpack. he says he'll deal with the cops, and so we start walking back to the school.
About 50 yards down the road (still right in front of the state pen) I realize I am leaking bongwater alllllll down my buttcrack and was fleeing the scene with the damning evidence. Obviously can't take it out of the bag, drop the bag, or return to the car, so I just had to solemnly march that long scary stretch of road as my shorts get more and more drenched in bongwater.
In the end, about a mile out another friend driving along sees the three of us, brings us back to the school, and we get in minor trouble (ditched the bag before returning, jumped in a lake to get the smell off, and said we snuck out to go swimming). Smitty deals with the cops and miraculously gets the driver off scott free, insurance covers the minivan, and no one ended up in the pen.
I still wonder whatever happened to Smitty; I've never seen him again.
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jimmythefly
Posted: Thu Jun 08, 2017 4:08 pm
Joined: 10 Jan 2007Posts: 1491
Some mornings we make smoothies. You know: fruit, milk, greens, maybe some almond butter.
I don't always finish my jar of smoothie. Sometimes it will sit in my bag for a few days as I forget to remove the half-finished canning jar.
Turns out there is a limit to how much internal pressure a normal canning jar can handle, and about 3 days of fermenting smoothie is enoug to breach the lid seal and seep fermented, sticky, goddawful smelling fluid all over the contents of my mess bag.
Dan
Posted: Thu Jun 08, 2017 4:49 pm
Shut UpJoined: 03 Aug 2014Posts: 566Location: Beacon Hill
J_Dada wrote:
I've never had anything bad explode in a bag because I think about what I'm doing before I go sticking things in other things.
Well, sometimes.
^^^ Winner!
Moira
Posted: Thu Jun 08, 2017 10:56 pm
MoistraJoined: 28 Nov 2014Posts: 712
A+ story, Softcore - I've always wondered what a "smitty" would be like in real life. Now I know.
jimmythefly
Posted: Fri Jun 09, 2017 9:40 am
Joined: 10 Jan 2007Posts: 1491
Story checks out.
I know a "smitty" IRL. Not the same guy but could be. Very charismatic, and I could see him doing the exact same thing with the same result.
Gracie
Posted: Sat Jun 10, 2017 6:49 am
Joined: 04 Aug 2007Posts: 575Location: Haus deiner Mutter
A squished, 3 week (?) old banana.
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papapace7
Posted: Sat Jun 10, 2017 9:30 am
Joined: 30 Aug 2014Posts: 190Location: Olympia, WA
Braggs Apple Cider Vinegar while enroute from Auburn to Ryan's two Thanksgivings ago. Despite the spill, I still managed to make my hippy-dippy Thanksgiving peanut-butter tofu snack from the Moosewood cookbook, Buddha's Jewels; good times!
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Worstcasescenario
Posted: Mon Jun 12, 2017 1:35 pm
Joined: 03 Jan 2016Posts: 116Location: Crown Hill
I also have a real Smitty in my life, and it sounds like he may have been cut from the same cloth as yours...
I often discover a disgusting gruel of trail mix and beer in the bottom of my bag on Friday mornings.
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"Slow the fuck down".
zackh
Posted: Mon Jun 12, 2017 3:50 pm
Joined: 26 Jun 2014Posts: 28Location: burlurld
Raw eggs.
A bunch of years ago for the Nine to Five scavenger hunt (RIP) they handed out a stamped egg to each rider, with many more scattered around at... one of the stops, I don't remember which one. For each egg that made it through the night you got some points, plus if you found the hidden eggs/stole other people's, more points. So among the weird things I carried around all night in a mad drunken stupor were a large number of loose raw eggs. Most made it through the night. Some didn't.
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tehschkott
Posted: Wed Jun 14, 2017 11:39 am
daywalkerJoined: 09 Nov 2007Posts: 6108Location: Hatertown
A dead frog.
Musta been there for like a week. He was big too. It was in my Chrome bag, between the liner and the outer bag in the secret stash area.
Runners up:
sex lube explosion
bicycle lube explosion
beer explosion
an open bottle of Boones (pretty sure Derrick stashed it there)
Not really but still: 1 gallon of Marion berry jelly exploded in my trunk post waffle ride. Imagine trying to get that out of your car trunk. It's every bit as magical as you think it's going to be.
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derrickito
Posted: Wed Jun 14, 2017 11:50 am
now with 50 percent more EVILJoined: 22 Jul 2005Posts: 10566
was it blue? were we at suiattle?
thats the only blue boones one i can think of. and it was half filled with vodka. by the time we got halfway down that bottle who the fuck knows what happened
tehschkott
Posted: Wed Jun 14, 2017 12:39 pm
daywalkerJoined: 09 Nov 2007Posts: 6108Location: Hatertown
Wait, can I count blood soaked clothes? After Ally hit the U bridge grating with her face at 20mph I was pulling bloody clothes out of my bag for weeks (felt like). Oh hey, why are my arm warmers brown and crunchy?
About the Boones, I've no idea. There wasn't anything in the bottle by the time I got to it, it was in my bag.
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derrickito
Posted: Wed Jun 14, 2017 12:44 pm
now with 50 percent more EVILJoined: 22 Jul 2005Posts: 10566
ok, good to know that we didn't leave any alcohol unused. that would be wasteful
Moira
Posted: Wed Jun 14, 2017 1:24 pm
MoistraJoined: 28 Nov 2014Posts: 712
tehschkott wrote:
Not really but still: 1 gallon of Marion berry jelly exploded in my trunk post waffle ride. Imagine trying to get that out of your car trunk. It's every bit as magical as you think it's going to be.
Worstcasescenario
Posted: Wed Jun 14, 2017 1:41 pm
Joined: 03 Jan 2016Posts: 116Location: Crown Hill
zackh wrote:
Raw eggs. Nine to Five .
I think I had blocked this out. Thanks, Zach. I was also not good at keeping the egg from breaking.
_________________ -Gabe
"Slow the fuck down".
wang
Posted: Wed Jun 14, 2017 7:15 pm
Joined: 25 Jan 2012Posts: 884
at one winter ride to the beach at disco park, the surf was covered in tiny crabs
we joked about grabbing a bunch and hiding them in peoples' water bottles.
kinda glad/sad we decided against it.
blasdelf
Posted: Thu Jun 15, 2017 1:31 am
BAD NAVIGATORJoined: 01 Mar 2010Posts: 1505
I've filled peoples water bottles with landscaping rocks
and also had mine filled by Derrick
derrickito
Posted: Thu Jun 15, 2017 8:42 am
now with 50 percent more EVILJoined: 22 Jul 2005Posts: 10566
blasdelf wrote:
I've filled peoples water bottles with landscaping rocks
and also had mine filled by Derrick
that's a joke that's fun for everyone. especially at the end of a long grueling climb.
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GO SEAHAWKS!! 12 for LYFE
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