now with 50 percent more EVILJoined: 22 Jul 2005Posts: 10566
henry was a guy that i once knew
rumors of him being gay were all too true
he would dance and strip
sometimes prance and skip
then take it doggy style like the animals at the zoo
Last edited by derrickito on Mon Apr 03, 2017 11:11 am; edited 6 times in total
henry
Posted: Mon Oct 09, 2006 11:26 am
somewhat piggishJoined: 05 Aug 2005Posts: 5415Location: on porch with shotgun
There once was a Derrick named Ito
He preyed Myspace like a mosquitio
His hooker, she die
So she, he deep fried
Then rolled her into a burrito
lantius
Posted: Mon Oct 09, 2006 11:35 am
1337Joined: 22 Jul 2005Posts: 6705Location: right over
derrick he liked him the fatties
he brought them all corndogs from wendy's
face-down he would go
between all the rolls
making a parachute out of their panties
henry
Posted: Mon Oct 09, 2006 11:36 am
somewhat piggishJoined: 05 Aug 2005Posts: 5415Location: on porch with shotgun
Ok so i'm sure attacks on derrick will be plentiful. So i offer an ode to another one of our flounders.
There once was a star of the scene
he was a girl pants wearing machine
now he scoots with the 'fleet
diesel shoes on his feet
never again shall we see our Dean
1337Joined: 22 Jul 2005Posts: 6705Location: right over
there once was ben from minnesota
two dozen pbr's was his quota
don't ask about laura
his stories would bore ya
he just fell down some stairs like he told ya
piratemolly
Posted: Mon Oct 09, 2006 1:17 pm
Joined: 25 Aug 2006Posts: 533Location: here, there, everywhere
all the guys wanted alyson rae
in hope for some sweet lovin' play
she preferred cruisers but still beat the losers
while smokin' a half pack a day
amanda: a biker renowned
she road hercules around the sound
her thighs were so long, so smooth and strong
she liked beating the boys on the ground
Derrick and I are both members.
For as long as we both can remember.
But just life isn't worth living
Since Derrick is no longer giving.
He hasn't been my boyfriend since September.
Damn if these aren't fun to read, and educational too!
Last edited by Aaron on Tue Oct 10, 2006 7:21 pm; edited 1 time in total
henry
Posted: Mon Oct 09, 2006 3:26 pm
somewhat piggishJoined: 05 Aug 2005Posts: 5415Location: on porch with shotgun
now with 50 percent more EVILJoined: 22 Jul 2005Posts: 10566
ben is a fucking hippy and therefore stinks
always gets in trouble whenever he drinks
his girlfriend always gets mad
she tells him he's been very bad
she beats him up when they get home, me thinks
alastair was going down a big old hill
on a bike, and took quite a spill
hit a car and caused a wreck
broke his god damned neck
now hes got a honker of a hospital bill
MikeOD
Posted: Mon Oct 09, 2006 4:47 pm
Joined: 04 Feb 2006Posts: 545
In Seattle there's point-eighty-three
Who bomb through the streets there with glee
They ride, smoke and drink
Right up to the brink
Until someone crashes into a tree
Who gives a shit, it rhymes and gets me and Derrick together naked!
I'll fix it later. I copied Molly's style.
freemywrld
Posted: Mon Oct 09, 2006 8:00 pm
Joined: 30 May 2006Posts: 374Location: Lost
There once was a group of crazed cyclists
Whose manners were ever so guileless
They drank, smoked, and sang
Till Derrick pulled out his wang
And everyone rode home quite smileless
_________________ Beer is both food and water, but neither water nor food is beer.
Finn
Posted: Mon Oct 09, 2006 10:49 pm
AlabamaJoined: 15 Sep 2006Posts: 303Location: Central District
The fuel of bikes is strong beer.
It's got carbohydrates, I hear.
But don't drink to excess,
or you'll end up a mess
With your pants tangled up in your gear.
Aaron wrote:
I'll fix it later. I copied Molly's style.
Poem respectfully dedicated to Malora Bate: Cyclist, Man-Eater, Irish Poet.
piratemolly
Posted: Tue Oct 10, 2006 7:48 am
Joined: 25 Aug 2006Posts: 533Location: here, there, everywhere
Finn wrote:
The fuel of bikes is strong beer.
It's got carbohydrates, I hear.
But don't drink to excess,
or you'll end up a mess
With your pants tangled up in your gear.
Aaron wrote:
I'll fix it later. I copied Molly's style.
Poem respectfully dedicated to Malora Bate: Cyclist, Man-Eater, Irish Poet.
Man-Eater.... you always know what to tell the ladies like me. you're a gem.
derrickito
Posted: Tue Oct 10, 2006 9:23 am
now with 50 percent more EVILJoined: 22 Jul 2005Posts: 10566
our bike riding conscious, our friend lee
until that day that he broke his knee
he fell on some gravel
and could no longer travel
next time boy, watch out for that debris
derrickito
Posted: Tue Oct 10, 2006 9:32 am
now with 50 percent more EVILJoined: 22 Jul 2005Posts: 10566
chris langston aint very good at riding his bike
hit a woman exiting a bus, him she does not like
he wacked himself into a train
slammed a building in the rain
sometimes his sense of balance goes on strike
derrickito
Posted: Tue Oct 10, 2006 9:36 am
now with 50 percent more EVILJoined: 22 Jul 2005Posts: 10566
joby isnt easily missed, bright as day
but he got hit by a van to his dismay
crushed like a bug
by some drunk thug
next time give our friend the right of way
the dreaded ben
Posted: Tue Oct 10, 2006 9:47 am
Grumpy GreebJoined: 20 Aug 2005Posts: 5329Location: flavor country
there once was a derrick and lee
who are gonna get punched by me
for wasting my time
with shitty slant rhyme
they'll end up sitting down to pee
piratemolly
Posted: Tue Oct 10, 2006 9:52 am
Joined: 25 Aug 2006Posts: 533Location: here, there, everywhere
denny trimble: a rocket fan
in man-capris he builds his plan
his rocket is fast
can't be surpassed
but on his kona he's a wilder man
derrickito
Posted: Tue Oct 10, 2006 9:56 am
now with 50 percent more EVILJoined: 22 Jul 2005Posts: 10566
bens drinking has gotten rather intense
so his girlfriend chained him to a fence
gettin pickled every night
and trying to pick a fight
someday he's gonna need some good legal defense
Alastair
Posted: Tue Oct 10, 2006 10:03 am
Joined: 12 Jan 2006Posts: 475Location: U-district/Ravenna
piratemolly wrote:
Ode to Denny Trimble
Don't let this thread get off track,
Or we'll never get it back.
It's not about charm,
but more about harm,
Just like a punch to the sack
piratemolly
Posted: Tue Oct 10, 2006 10:15 am
Joined: 25 Aug 2006Posts: 533Location: here, there, everywhere
you daring signs of affection
feel more like rejection
despite riding together
in a variety of weather
most of us with no direction
i don't want a projection
or any self-reflection
'cause a punch in the sack
is a hilarious attack
on what should be a dainty erection
joeball
Posted: Tue Oct 10, 2006 10:54 am
Joined: 24 Jul 2005Posts: 6037Location: Ether
Jace's voice, a noise so stale
When he speaks we turn pale
He corked a Van
Pissed off the Man
Now see him blanch when sirens wale
derrickito
Posted: Tue Oct 10, 2006 11:00 am
now with 50 percent more EVILJoined: 22 Jul 2005Posts: 10566
abby ate too many brownies made of pot
good thing she doesn't like her job alot
went to work on sunday
thought it was monday
that girl's memory is totally shot
lantius
Posted: Tue Oct 10, 2006 11:46 am
1337Joined: 22 Jul 2005Posts: 6705Location: right over
we once had some friends in cascade
they were out on a helmet crusade
i wish their parents had gone
and put a helmet on
that one night that they got laid
there once was an andre, when awake
he'd drink everything he could take
when sober he's a saint
when drunk sure he ain't
he'll punch you right in his namesake
lantius
Posted: Tue Oct 10, 2006 11:52 am
1337Joined: 22 Jul 2005Posts: 6705Location: right over
messengers face off against automobiles
they want your respect for their many ordeals
but it's easy to tell
by the way that jace spells
they're just dishwashers on wheels
lantius
Posted: Tue Oct 10, 2006 11:55 am
1337Joined: 22 Jul 2005Posts: 6705Location: right over
this one is for evilmike:
point 83 is a club quite nerdy
full of men with minds quite dirty
so with women aplenty
they roll their d20
to see if they can hit the dc for being flirty
lantius
Posted: Tue Oct 10, 2006 12:00 pm
1337Joined: 22 Jul 2005Posts: 6705Location: right over
i really miss my old friend pj diddy
whenever he rode he was always giddy
he'd play chicken with cars
and get girls' numbers in bars
but he never actually called them, did he?
the dreaded ben
Posted: Tue Oct 10, 2006 12:24 pm
Grumpy GreebJoined: 20 Aug 2005Posts: 5329Location: flavor country
lee, do some work.
dennyt
Posted: Tue Oct 10, 2006 1:07 pm
rocket mechanicJoined: 02 Aug 2005Posts: 2708
lantius wrote:
they're just dishwashers on wheels
Just 'cause you're rhyming doesn't mean you get to be this much of an asshole.
Stanglor
Posted: Tue Oct 10, 2006 1:43 pm
Joined: 28 Jan 2006Posts: 555Location: Wallingford
The power of the written word
As seen by an enginerd
if a bloke
can't take a joke
I'm sorry, they're a turd
_________________ Confidential to everybody: "Pearl necklace" is out. "Cheney" is in. Pass it on.
Stanglor
Posted: Tue Oct 10, 2006 2:14 pm
Joined: 28 Jan 2006Posts: 555Location: Wallingford
There is a member of point eighty three
who represents Christianity
Slayer race & Devils Gulch
turned his knee into mulch
I can say with certainty; Satan likes to fuck with Lee
_________________ Confidential to everybody: "Pearl necklace" is out. "Cheney" is in. Pass it on.
wanderlyte
Posted: Tue Oct 10, 2006 4:43 pm
Joined: 06 May 2006Posts: 62Location: Afloat somewhere in Puget Sound
While in Brookings doing my laundry
I found a thread where limericks run free
With words I could play
For a year and a day
So here are a few without fee:
Often seen with point eighty three
Is a gent fond of port named Lee
Should the ride reference the devil
Don't expect him to revel
He'll likely crash and rip open his knee
There's also a fellow named Featherhead
Who'd ride near as swift as the weather sped
He'd pedal hundreds of miles
Then sleep in ditches short whiles
In a space blanket, not in a feather bed
Once a thug with a badge did attack
A cycling grad student named Zack
'Twas at Critical Mass
That cop, what an ass
His department did catch much flack
I thought about teasing Amanda
Perhaps something involving a panda
But she's not a Quaker
Rather a mighty crank breaker
If she kicked me, I might land in Uganda
Speaking of the ladies, there's Abby
Provider of pastries, not too shabby
From craigslist she recovered her steed
"Ride to swim" is her jolly creed
Maybe that's why she never seems crabby
I could go on, but should run
To get out and ride in the sun
Wandering by bike
That's what I like
Perhaps in a year I'll be done
--Matt
Aaron
Posted: Tue Oct 10, 2006 7:22 pm
Joined: 25 Jul 2005Posts: 4645
fixed!
So did Abby really get a stolen bike back from craigslist?
Aaron
Posted: Tue Oct 10, 2006 9:09 pm
Joined: 25 Jul 2005Posts: 4645
Posting "not work safe" pics is out of fashon
.83 used to post them with a passion
The days of HORSECOCK are past
Reading the forum at work is a blast
Except when the screen has penises flash-on.
baby
Posted: Wed Oct 11, 2006 12:23 am
Joined: 21 Sep 2006Posts: 15
Last month Dave organized a great race
I, with three friends, kept up quite a pace
But after the 35th mile
I was over my smile
There’s no glory for second to last place
Two roommates are featherhead and seth
Win every race without losing a breath
At these times we’re hoping
That they’ll be caught doping
Be it steroids, bennies, or meth
Aaron
Posted: Wed Oct 11, 2006 12:40 am
Joined: 25 Jul 2005Posts: 4645
We stay up all night on the forum
Hoping to fight off the boredom
Reading the thoughts
Of our compatriots
'till we can't get up in the mornin'
that last line sort of works
derrickito
Posted: Wed Oct 11, 2006 8:00 am
now with 50 percent more EVILJoined: 22 Jul 2005Posts: 10566
this thread makes me warm on the inside
dashap
Posted: Wed Oct 11, 2006 10:50 am
professorJoined: 21 Jun 2006Posts: 1566Location: central district
Here are the "deep thoughts" I had riding out to Bothell this morning:
There was an ex-punker named Aaron
Who about planet earth was a-carin'
So he sold lots of bikes
To grownups and tykes
And when not a-sellin' was repairin'.
Last night's tow-er of kegs, Derek Ito
Likes to aim for your balls and go beat-o
As if on a hunch
He throws the underpunch
And laughs while you lie on the ground and go "bleat-bleato."
The girls of .83 they got spunk
While the boys of .83 they get drunk
So the distaff presence makes me wonder
If there's not some female cognitive blunder
From being dropped on their heads as babies and going "thunk."
.83 is a bike gang in Seattle
Who like to drink booze when out of (or in) the bike saddle
This leads to some crashes
Contusions and gashes
But when the cops come, we skedaddle.
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now with 50 percent more EVIL
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Joined: 24 Jul 2005
Posts: 6037
Location: Ether
1337
Joined: 22 Jul 2005
Posts: 6705
Location: right over
Joined: 25 Aug 2006
Posts: 533
Location: here, there, everywhere
Joined: 04 Feb 2006
Posts: 545
Joined: 30 May 2006
Posts: 374
Location: Lost
Alabama
Joined: 15 Sep 2006
Posts: 303
Location: Central District
Grumpy Greeb
Joined: 20 Aug 2005
Posts: 5329
Location: flavor country
rocket mechanic
Joined: 02 Aug 2005
Posts: 2708
Joined: 28 Jan 2006
Posts: 555
Location: Wallingford
Joined: 21 Sep 2006
Posts: 15
professor
Joined: 21 Jun 2006
Posts: 1566
Location: central district
