desperately trying to find his keys
he's wishing instead he'd had cheese
but alas it's too late
to lament what he ate
for he's filling his pants with feces
TrikerTrev
Posted: Thu Jul 19, 2007 4:35 pm
Joined: 23 Oct 2006Posts: 2303Location: FOCO, MOFO!!!
that just made me shoot beer out my nose
GOOD ON YA MAN!
_________________ Insufferable ass, est. 1969
dashap
Posted: Thu Jul 19, 2007 5:07 pm
professorJoined: 21 Jun 2006Posts: 1566Location: central district
Ito scarfs up some egg salad and other odd ends
Then goes out for a bike ride with his friends
But when his gut starts a-rumbling
You’ll hear our boy grumbling
“Shoulda wore my spandex Depends.”
MikeOD
Posted: Thu Jul 19, 2007 5:13 pm
Joined: 04 Feb 2006Posts: 545
to have poo running down the calf
is surely a most embarrassing gaff
while potty-trained he's not
this we must admire a lot
derrickito can turn anything into a laugh
FieryIrie
Posted: Fri Jul 20, 2007 1:02 pm
Joined: 25 Jun 2007Posts: 554Location: Wallingford
MikeOD wrote:
Good idea Trev.
heading out for a ride in a bit
ito suckles his fetid fridge-tit
when his belly goes boom
he races back to his room
and covers the walls with his shit
BWAAAHAHAHAHAAA!!!!!!!!!!!
henry
Posted: Fri Jul 20, 2007 1:40 pm
somewhat piggishJoined: 05 Aug 2005Posts: 5415Location: on porch with shotgun
Mike, i think your true calling is writing Limerick's about poop.
1337Joined: 22 Jul 2005Posts: 6705Location: right over
derrick found himself at the top
of kite hill with a plan that would flop
he couldn't have known
but sadly my phone
failed it's saving throw against pop
last night the ride was true t' form
and the weather was definitely quite warm
too bad it didn't rain
for the saying is plain
drink two bottles of port in a storm
mike od is a limerick honer
and dave as well, the ol' stoner
we appreciate their discretion
but what they failed to mention
is that pants shitting gives derrick a boner
kalen
Posted: Mon Nov 26, 2007 12:07 pm
Joined: 10 Apr 2007Posts: 342Location: Olympia, on the farm
there once was an ito named derrick
whose anus could no longer bear it
oh, such was the news
about his great poos
that he decided to share it
derrickito
Posted: Mon Nov 26, 2007 12:55 pm
now with 50 percent more EVILJoined: 22 Jul 2005Posts: 10566
you're a little late on the humor bandwagon kalen
kalen
Posted: Mon Nov 26, 2007 12:59 pm
Joined: 10 Apr 2007Posts: 342Location: Olympia, on the farm
derrickito wrote:
you're a little late on the humor bandwagon kalen
There once was a writer named Kalen
Whose limericks were often a-failin'
He thought it such fun
To post just the one
But Derrick sent him high-tailin'
Finn
Posted: Mon Nov 26, 2007 4:30 pm
AlabamaJoined: 15 Sep 2006Posts: 303Location: Central District
I celebrate this thread's survival
and hope it achieves a revival.
If your meter is won't pass,
we'll ream out your ass
And thenceforth we'll be known as rivals.
snyd3282
Posted: Mon Nov 26, 2007 5:06 pm
could suck the fun out of a blowjobJoined: 23 Jul 2007Posts: 588Location: Ballard / Fremont
On the fateful day of nine eleven
Eating french fries, competing with seven
We ate and ate and ate
My baskets numbered eight
Returning home, I hoped to die and go to heaven.
We gathered on another day
In a place called Stone Way
To protest the placement of sharrows
Funny things looking like arrows
Six months later SDOT gives us their say.
lantius
Posted: Mon Nov 26, 2007 5:08 pm
1337Joined: 22 Jul 2005Posts: 6705Location: right over
henry is fat, yes it's true
and stereotypically bellevue
with a belly like a pillow
and a nerd job at zillow
it's finally time for his subaru
point 83 was once full of noobs
obsessed with bikes, beer, and boobs
now with winter they're hidin'
and instead of ridin'
they're shittin' all over the tubes!
some think old point eighty three was fine
but jake brought the drama that time
so damn point eighty four
don't let your ass hit the door
i'm going to straight to point eighty nine!
the dreaded ben
Posted: Mon Nov 26, 2007 5:18 pm
Grumpy GreebJoined: 20 Aug 2005Posts: 5329Location: flavor country
ha ha, lee doesn't like henry!
Remington
Posted: Mon Nov 26, 2007 5:34 pm
Joined: 23 Jan 2006Posts: 457Location: Remington Country
lantius wrote:
some think old point eighty three was fine
but jake brought the drama that time
so damn point eighty four
don't let your ass hit the door
i'm going to straight to point eighty nine!
Is this damned bike club ever gonna leave beta, or are there always going to be problems with it?
dennyt
Posted: Mon Nov 26, 2007 5:36 pm
rocket mechanicJoined: 02 Aug 2005Posts: 2708
Up the mountain climbed Duncan and Sketchy
Close behind were Ben Laura and Gretchy
While the nights were quite cold,
And His flatulence too bold,
Our love for the hills was still stretchy!
lantius
Posted: Mon Nov 26, 2007 5:57 pm
1337Joined: 22 Jul 2005Posts: 6705Location: right over
the dreaded ben wrote:
ha ha, lee doesn't like henry!
limericks at the expense of others
aren't nice cards you send to your mothers
henry's not one to be hatin'
though he's oft infuriatin'
in that sense we're kind of like brothers
kalen
Posted: Mon Nov 26, 2007 6:34 pm
Joined: 10 Apr 2007Posts: 342Location: Olympia, on the farm
An outstanding young fellow named Lee
Such a role model there never could be
So just give him some port
And he'll drink it up short-
Lee, he'll stay out till well after three.
Let me posit that picking on Derrick as a target over and overis the literary equivalent of a nutpunch. Sure it's funny for a while, but eventually it's just not cricket to keep kicking a man in the groin whilst he's down. Instead, self deprecation is where it's at.
---
Here is a proof trivial to defend:
Fascination with bicycle racing does ill portend.
Best fit a rider's speed vs. his intercourse frequency regression;
We see it's inversely related, answering the question-
"Why can't Matthew get a girlfriend?"
FieryIrie
Posted: Tue Nov 27, 2007 12:35 am
Joined: 25 Jun 2007Posts: 554Location: Wallingford
lantius wrote:
the dreaded ben wrote:
ha ha, lee doesn't like henry!
limericks at the expense of others
aren't nice cards you send to your mothers
henry's not one to be hatin'
though he's oft infuriatin'
in that sense we're kind of like brothers
Aww! That is just SO cute!
Razi
Posted: Tue Nov 27, 2007 10:12 am
Joined: 16 Dec 2005Posts: 866Location: Seattle
Pete Jr. a beard did invent
an applied for a face-hair patent
but folks found it unnerving
this beard that was curving
so the royalties could not cover his rent
A mad hatter costume contrived
Inspired Raz "the curveball" to revive
folks found it hilarious
(Pete's glory, vicarious)
and for a month on his face did it thrive
Pete could not wear his own beard
and his pasty cheeks soon were sheared
but when Raz rocked the swirl
he had luck with girls
and by the whisker club was revered
Hirsute gentlemen, Raz and Pete
are part of the bearded elite
Pete pioneered
but Raz kept the beard
for longer; a more noteworthy feat?
Joined: 23 Oct 2006Posts: 2303Location: FOCO, MOFO!!!
a club of bikes, broads and booze
and accident scabs that ooze
but lately its appeared
this thing about the beard
and the ridiculous patterns that amuse
Finn
Posted: Tue Nov 27, 2007 5:03 pm
AlabamaJoined: 15 Sep 2006Posts: 303Location: Central District
Matthew wrote:
"Why can't Matthew get a girlfriend?"
Your meter is badly amiss
And you've all been warned about this.
The ladies 'round here
have a lyrical ear;
They hate when your flow is just piss.
FieryIrie
Posted: Tue Nov 27, 2007 5:14 pm
Joined: 25 Jun 2007Posts: 554Location: Wallingford
Finn wrote:
Matthew wrote:
"Why can't Matthew get a girlfriend?"
Your meter is badly amiss
And you've all been warned about this.
The ladies 'round here
have a lyrical ear;
They hate when your flow is just piss.
*I apologize for detouring from the true limerick form, however I am not a poet, just a biker, and I had some things to say about an impressionable night:
Derrick now owns the cheap and hazy crystal ball
Which on the dark and stormy night, was a gift to all.
It was payment for the kindness of the bottle,
Which did the duty to send him in full throttle.
He goes down in legend as the Gasworks Bum
Guilty most of all for drinking our rum.
After consuming our booze,
He began to schmooze,
"I love you" he said, and my cheeks turned apple red.
After his grimey, smelly tongue attempted to lick my face,
Knightly Remington stepped in and put him in his place.
In turn, Henry's mouth was the uiltimate victim,
When the bum's dirty fist flew to hit him.
Ultimitely we knew the time had come,
For after the fight, we had run out of fun.
We gathered the drinks and put out the fires,
...And finally, the Gasworks Bum pissed, puked and retired.
kalen
Posted: Mon Dec 10, 2007 7:03 pm
Joined: 10 Apr 2007Posts: 342Location: Olympia, on the farm
Reading a book of limericks on yesterday's brunch ride, we thought this was appropriate
A pretty young boy known as Kevin
Was raped in a pasture by Seven
Lascivious beasts--
Oh, those Anglican priests!--
For of such is the kingdom of heaven.
Eric_s
Posted: Thu Mar 13, 2008 2:51 pm
Joined: 07 Mar 2007Posts: 1691Location: the dirty south
There once was a man named Bertold
Who drank beer when the weather grew cold
As he reached for his cup
"NEEEEVER GONNA GIVE YOU UP!!!"
Oh, snap! You just got limerickrolled!
_________________ That's Lemmy, Not Jesus.
lantius
Posted: Thu Mar 13, 2008 3:07 pm
1337Joined: 22 Jul 2005Posts: 6705Location: right over
ben was a fine man to be seen
but his toe reeked of gangrene
now a dollar's change is pickle
for you can short him a nickel
cause he can only count to nineteen!
rob
Posted: Thu Mar 13, 2008 11:39 pm
Joined: 28 Jul 2007Posts: 1315Location: Columbia City
lantius wrote:
ben was a fine man to be seen
but his toe reeked of gangrene
now a dollar's change is pickle
for you can short him a nickel
cause he can only count to nineteen!
oh snap! Ben got told! Or maybe he got Toe-ld! zomg!
surlykat
Posted: Thu Mar 13, 2008 11:45 pm
Joined: 05 Jul 2007Posts: 658Location: in the CD
Pssh.
there once was an X from place B
which satisfied predicate P,
he or she did thing A
in an adjective way
resulting in circumstance C.
There. The limerick to end all limericks.
(though i didn't exactly come up with it, and it's not at the expense of any particular pointeightthreer...)
snormg.
SeditiousCanary
Posted: Fri Mar 14, 2008 1:13 am
sorry, can't make it!Joined: 26 Jan 2006Posts: 2315Location: Fremont Troll
surlykat wrote:
it's not at the expense of any particular pointeightthreer.
Bullshit, I know exactly who you mean! I can't wait to see you and them at the same time to see if they know you know!
MyNameIsJeff
Posted: Fri Mar 14, 2008 12:04 pm
BOOSH!Joined: 17 Jul 2007Posts: 2042Location: Nearest bar.
I'll tell you of my friend ol' Happy Stick
Who's tall but not very thick
He's very bike Savvy
he hates it but sadly;
I still call him my good friend "Javvy"
tdonut
Posted: Fri Mar 14, 2008 12:06 pm
Joined: 15 Aug 2007Posts: 2
When domestic life Greg needs to flee,
I send him to Point 83
Please fill him with beer
And happy bike cheer
Then send him home horny to me
lantius
Posted: Fri Mar 14, 2008 12:41 pm
1337Joined: 22 Jul 2005Posts: 6705Location: right over
MyNameIsJeff wrote:
I'll tell you of my friend ol' Happy Stick
Who's tall but not very thick
He's very bike Savvy
he hates it but sadly;
I still call him my good friend "Javvy"
MyNameIsJeff
Posted: Fri Mar 14, 2008 1:10 pm
BOOSH!Joined: 17 Jul 2007Posts: 2042Location: Nearest bar.
There once was a man named Lee
Who decided he would flame me!
Didn't like my limerick
About Happy Stick
That's because he's just a dick!
gsbarnes
Posted: Fri Mar 14, 2008 1:25 pm
Joined: 15 Aug 2006Posts: 2666Location: No Fun Town, USA
MyNameIsJeff wrote:
There once was a man named Lee
Who decided he would flame me!
Didn't like my limerick
About Happy Stick
That's because just a dick is he!
You're welcome.
_________________ I have always thought in the back of my mind: Cheese and Onions
the dreaded ben
Posted: Fri Mar 14, 2008 1:28 pm
Grumpy GreebJoined: 20 Aug 2005Posts: 5329Location: flavor country
MyNameIsJeff wrote:
There once was a man named Lee
Who decided he would flame me!
Didn't like my limerick
About Happy Stick
That's because he's just a dick!
MyNameIsJeff
Posted: Fri Mar 14, 2008 1:33 pm
BOOSH!Joined: 17 Jul 2007Posts: 2042Location: Nearest bar.
Ok so I don't know limericks and I hate all of you.
surlykat
Posted: Sun Mar 16, 2008 10:26 am
Joined: 05 Jul 2007Posts: 658Location: in the CD
Enraged by an innocent callous
Submitted to podiatrist's malice
When the purpleness cleared
it was as bad as he feared -
Thank god it wasn't his phallus!
gsbarnes
Posted: Wed Jul 09, 2008 9:15 pm
Joined: 15 Aug 2006Posts: 2666Location: No Fun Town, USA
Plaintiff has a great deal to say,
But it seems he skipped Rule 8(a).
His Complaint is too long,
Which renders it wrong,
Please rewrite and refile today.
_________________ I have always thought in the back of my mind: Cheese and Onions
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professor
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1337
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now with 50 percent more EVIL
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Alabama
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could suck the fun out of a blowjob
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Grumpy Greeb
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rocket mechanic
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sorry, can't make it!
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