Well, that was a night. Lots of flats, lots of bridges up, and one drunk ass driver in Magnolia.
surlykat
Posted: Tue Jul 17, 2007 11:18 pm
Joined: 05 Jul 2007Posts: 658Location: in the CD
I liked the part about carrying my bike more than I rode it. So did my shoulder.
The part about the drunk driver was almost as good though.
peter
Posted: Tue Jul 17, 2007 11:37 pm
Joined: 25 Jun 2007Posts: 42Location: UW
i wonder where that little poodle ended up. she kept up really well, until Sean found his second wind.
anyone figure out what sort of wall, or parked vehicle, made for the other half of his collision?
peter
Posted: Tue Jul 17, 2007 11:39 pm
Joined: 25 Jun 2007Posts: 42Location: UW
btw props on the excellent thread topic
lantius
Posted: Tue Jul 17, 2007 11:45 pm
1337Joined: 22 Jul 2005Posts: 6705Location: right over
the first time we hiked up stairs with our bikes was pretty amusing, the second time was just surreal. brandon & peter = beasts for hauling that xtracycle up that whole thing. it was worth it though for some beers and a fantastic view from out there. definitely a part of seattle that few folks make it out to. i need to go back and do some more exploring along the trails out there, or find a decent map perhaps.
the thing with the drunk driver was pretty ridiculous, hopefully he won't be driving again any time soon. i didn't figure out what he hit, nothing stood out along government as we were heading down the hill.
a-plus ride.
derrickito
Posted: Wed Jul 18, 2007 1:02 am
now with 50 percent more EVILJoined: 22 Jul 2005Posts: 10566
i ate an egg salad sandwich at about 630. last thing i ate before that were some left over ribs in my fridge, not sure where they came from
at about 8pm i felt a rumbling in my stomach, i decided to cut off. it felt like a serious one. went over the locks and back up to fremont
by the time i made it to the fremont hill, i was scared to ride my bike up it as my ass was feeling that bad. i had to clench my butt and walk all the way up to the buckaroo. i passed a couple sanicans on the way at some construction sites but i didnt think it was that serious. halfway up fremont avenue i wished i had stopped. i could feel it coming on strong.
someone tried to talk to me about my building as i was walking into my downstairs door. i threw my bag in the landing, chucked my bike in after it and slammed the door on her. my rear end was almost more than i could hold back at that point. getting up the stairs without letting loose was rough
across the hall, my neighbor andrea had her sister and jamie stanglor over watching movies. they tried to yell something at me, but at that exact moment, my ass couldnt stand the pressure anymore. the key went in my apartment door and my ass exploded. i threw open the door, ignored james and andrea and raced for the bathroom hoping it wasnt dripping out my leg. i yanked off my pants and poop fell everywhere and more was shooting out my ass.
that's right. i crapped my pants.
i couldnt make it home in time.
shit was everywhere. i had to throw my clothes in the tub. i took one shower, but one shower wasnt enough, i took another shower. i saw that i somehow managed to get shit on my showerhead of all places.
in the middle of crapping everywhere james walked in from across the hall (i had left my door wide open)... he started saying something like "hey derrick whats up!" and all i could reply with was "get out of here NOW". i locked the bathroom door up tight after that, i think he heard the explosions coming out of my ass. i walked over afterwards and explained what happened to the neighbors across the hall. we all had a nice giggle as i sprayed febreeze and watched them choke down the fumes coming out of my apartment.
if i was wearing bike spandex it would have stayed contained. unfortunately i was wearing boxers.
hello folks, my name is derrick, i crapped my pants!
TrikerTrev
Posted: Wed Jul 18, 2007 7:15 am
Joined: 23 Oct 2006Posts: 2303Location: FOCO, MOFO!!!
...?!?...
you passed the sanicans?
dood i just laughed so hard i nearly repeated your experience...well, sans the audience, hill, bike, egg salad, ribs...
_________________ Insufferable ass, est. 1969
mcrawfor
Posted: Wed Jul 18, 2007 7:34 am
Joined: 09 May 2006Posts: 1039Location: Ballard
The dog's owners lived just a couple blocks from there.
The poodle had already wandered home on it's own by the time Bob got the pug home. The dogs names were Bobo and Buddy, btw.
I think .83 should form a crime-fighting unit.
_________________ -miles
surlykat
Posted: Wed Jul 18, 2007 7:35 am
Joined: 05 Jul 2007Posts: 658Location: in the CD
derrickito wrote:
hello folks, my name is derrick, i crapped my pants!
Thanks for that. Not quite Margaret Cho-funny, but funny nonetheless.
Somehow I get the feeling that if I crapped my pants, I wouldn't call everyone I know and then post it on the Internets. But that's just me.
seth_seth
Posted: Wed Jul 18, 2007 7:38 am
Joined: 11 May 2007Posts: 92Location: Blard!
derrickito wrote:
i ate an egg salad sandwich at about 630. last thing i ate before that were some left over ribs in my fridge, not sure where they came from
at about 8pm i felt a rumbling in my stomach, i decided to cut off. it felt like a serious one. went over the locks and back up to fremont
by the time i made it to the fremont hill, i was scared to ride my bike up it as my ass was feeling that bad. i had to clench my butt and walk all the way up to the buckaroo. i passed a couple sanicans on the way at some construction sites but i didnt think it was that serious. halfway up fremont avenue i wished i had stopped. i could feel it coming on strong.
someone tried to talk to me about my building as i was walking into my downstairs door. i threw my bag in the landing, chucked my bike in after it and slammed the door on her. my rear end was almost more than i could hold back at that point. getting up the stairs without letting loose was rough
across the hall, my neighbor andrea had her sister and jamie stanglor over watching movies. they tried to yell something at me, but at that exact moment, my ass couldnt stand the pressure anymore. the key went in my apartment door and my ass exploded. i threw open the door, ignored james and andrea and raced for the bathroom hoping it wasnt dripping out my leg. i yanked off my pants and poop fell everywhere and more was shooting out my ass.
that's right. i crapped my pants.
i couldnt make it home in time.
shit was everywhere. i had to throw my clothes in the tub. i took one shower, but one shower wasnt enough, i took another shower. i saw that i somehow managed to get shit on my showerhead of all places.
in the middle of crapping everywhere james walked in from across the hall (i had left my door wide open)... he started saying something like "hey derrick whats up!" and all i could reply with was "get out of here NOW". i locked the bathroom door up tight after that, i think he heard the explosions coming out of my ass. i walked over afterwards and explained what happened to the neighbors across the hall. we all had a nice giggle as i sprayed febreeze and watched them choke down the fumes coming out of my apartment.
if i was wearing bike spandex it would have stayed contained. unfortunately i was wearing boxers.
hello folks, my name is derrick, i crapped my pants!
rarely do i rofl. but i was almost in tears reading this.
john
Posted: Wed Jul 18, 2007 7:46 am
AAAARRRRRGGGGbllll pppphtt!Joined: 26 Aug 2006Posts: 725Location: In the lab.
derrickito wrote:
i couldnt make it home in time.
shit was everywhere. i had to throw my clothes in the tub. i took one shower, but one shower wasnt enough, i took another shower. i saw that i somehow managed to get shit on my showerhead of all places.
So Derrick,
what exactly was the color and tint of your feces... I am getting the sort of energy of the moment, but it is all black and white instead of a good vibrant technicolor image... was this a dark black lot's of iron grade of fecal matter, or was it a smooth yellow baby poo kinda stream...
and smell... give us a bit about the smell... I am of course assuming that it was a sulfur smell of eggs but I can not help but wonder if it could in fact be the more rancid rich fecal smeel not unlike a ripping coloscopy sack... speaking of wet ripping coloscopy bags... the sounds... my god man... give us better details of the sounds! was it the sloppy burping spatter sound of wet feces, or was it a hissing monstrosity of a anal volcanic venting?
please elaborate upon the sensory experience and spend some time fleshing out your details a little.
give the readers what they want... or perhaps James could fill in with some of the details...
and really... we must no... did the water from the fecal covered showerhead taste any different?
do tell
really... fill iour minds like you filled your pants... full of wet exciting details!
_________________ In der Not frisst der Teufel Fliegen.
now with 50 percent more EVILJoined: 22 Jul 2005Posts: 10566
i feel much better today.
my bathroom needs some deep cleaning though
i need to go buy a plunger.
bobhall
Posted: Wed Jul 18, 2007 11:25 am
Joined: 28 Jul 2006Posts: 460
derrickito wrote:
i shat myself
Epic, Derrick. Epic.
Yeah, the title of this thread really needs the comma taken out.
The poodle had already made it home, like Miles said. My God, that was one fat pug. I'm glad we found a segment of society that even .83 can look down on -- I felt so much better about humankind after last night.
seth_seth
Posted: Wed Jul 18, 2007 11:46 am
Joined: 11 May 2007Posts: 92Location: Blard!
one of my favorite sean moments from last night:
while we were following sean through the park:
me: seriously dude, where are you going?
sean: i'm gonna keep going until you guys get tired and stop following me.
me: man we're cyclists. we can do this all day long.
sean: uh..me too.
gsbarnes
Posted: Wed Jul 18, 2007 12:14 pm
Joined: 15 Aug 2006Posts: 2666Location: No Fun Town, USA
_________________ I have always thought in the back of my mind: Cheese and Onions
Stanglor
Posted: Wed Jul 18, 2007 12:21 pm
Joined: 28 Jan 2006Posts: 555Location: Wallingford
He really needed to empty the rest of that can of febreeze into the hallway. And that was after the stench traveled from the bathroom in the farthest corner of his apartment, through his bedroom, through his living room, out his front door, into the hallway, and then into Andrea's apartment.
It was unbearable from that distance, assuming some kind of inverse square law in relation to the strength of the stench vs distance from origin, I can't imagine what ground zero was like.
_________________ Confidential to everybody: "Pearl necklace" is out. "Cheney" is in. Pass it on.
lantius
Posted: Wed Jul 18, 2007 12:48 pm
1337Joined: 22 Jul 2005Posts: 6705Location: right over
i didn't even click on that link, and i still can't get the picture out of my head.
there should be some internet law that states that the longer a forum exists, the probability of someone posting a link to tubgirl (or goatse) increases to 1.
lantius
Posted: Wed Jul 18, 2007 1:05 pm
1337Joined: 22 Jul 2005Posts: 6705Location: right over
i didn't even click on that link, and i still can't get the picture out of my head.
there should be some internet law that states that the longer a forum exists, the probability of someone posting a link to tubgirl (or goatse) increases to 1.
close, but not quite. the INSTANT a forum exists the probability of someone posting a tubgirl/goatse link is 1. i like to just make that be the first post to any new forum i set up, just to get it out of the way.
Eric_s
Posted: Wed Jul 18, 2007 1:36 pm
Joined: 07 Mar 2007Posts: 1691Location: the dirty south
1337Joined: 22 Jul 2005Posts: 6705Location: right over
happy anniversary derrick!
PJ Diddy
Posted: Fri Jul 18, 2008 1:45 am
Joined: 25 Jul 2005Posts: 567Location: magnolia
"poop"
_________________ "They better stop cause I'm NOT!" Paul
derrickito
Posted: Fri Jul 18, 2008 4:58 am
now with 50 percent more EVILJoined: 22 Jul 2005Posts: 10566
razi found me on the trail to the park last night and presented me with a wonderful diaper full of chocolate. it went on the blow up doll. she got lots of honks on the ride home.
poop free for an entire year!
gsbarnes
Posted: Fri Jul 18, 2008 8:23 am
Joined: 15 Aug 2006Posts: 2666Location: No Fun Town, USA
derrickito wrote:
poop free for an entire year!
I suggest you see a doctor for that.
_________________ I have always thought in the back of my mind: Cheese and Onions
Razi
Posted: Fri Jul 18, 2008 8:56 am
Joined: 16 Dec 2005Posts: 866Location: Seattle
gsbarnes wrote:
derrickito wrote:
poop free for an entire year!
I suggest you see a doctor for that.
Two points.
It was a lovely night last night. Just the right sort of night for a one year pantspoopaversary.
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AAAARRRRRGGGGbllll pppphtt!
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