could suck the fun out of a blowjobJoined: 23 Jul 2007Posts: 588Location: Ballard / Fremont
This from Cascade's forums. It is on a Thursday and has free beer.
From: Chris Cameron
Well, here it is. The First Annual Cascade Eli Roth Biggest Bicycle Beam in Seattle Contest.
What: Who has the brightest bike light in Seattle?
When: Thursday, January 24th at 6pm
Where: Meet at Cascade Bicycle Club's glorious world headquarters. 7400 Sand Point Way NE (Follow the Luxor-like beam from all-points King County).
Why: I'm sick and tired of listening to all you liars and blow hards (yes, I'm specifically talking about you) blabbing ad nauseum about whose light is the brightest, bestest, blah, blah, blah, etc.
Rules: I'll make them up when I see what works to my advantage.
Prizes:
15-minutes of battery recharge time on a Cascade electrical outlet of your choice.
A $5.00 gift-certificate to Lazik International for all judges.
$10.00 prize for "Most Over The Top" set-up. (Handlebar and Helmet-mount divisions)
An IPA of my choice following the contest for all entrants (21+) immediately following the contest at the Fiddler's Inn. (n.b. If you don't like IPA's, you're automatically disqualified for cheating).
Please, no questions. Anyone asking questions will be banned from this and all future Circle-Light-Offs. Creativity and skirting "the rules" are highly encouraged. Well, here it is. The First Annual Cascade Eli Roth Biggest Bicycle Beam in Seattle Contest.Inferior generator Hub/dynamo-powered lights are highly-discouraged. They're not very American, now are they. (If you insist on bringing yours, we'll have a demonstration/sympathy round for you.)
Grey market, double-secret-probation Lumotec purchases will be given extra-credit points for the amateur effort. (Must present your club's membership card/a valid 2008 AlleyMeYow spoke card/lower-inner-lip CBC membership# tattoo to be eligible).
All decisions are more-or-less final (unless you paint bikes better than CycleArt/Joe Bell/Brian Baylis or are an expert machinist capable of making tiny cool bike parts I had dreams about in a recent vision-quest).
If you have any question...we'll, we've already covered that.
This should be fun. Should be.
-------------------------
As usual,
Chris Cameron
Bicycle Commuter Director
Cascade Bicycle Club
Joined: 25 Jul 2005Posts: 5547Location: Columbia City
"Grey market, double-secret-probation Lumotec purchases will be given extra-credit points for the amateur effort. (Must present your club's membership card/a valid 2008 AlleyMeYow spoke card/lower-inner-lip CBC membership# tattoo to be eligible). "
lolz. If only the CBC leadership could impart such brevity and wit onto their great unwashed masses of drive-to-ride members.
derrickito
Posted: Fri Jan 18, 2008 10:57 am
now with 50 percent more EVILJoined: 22 Jul 2005Posts: 10566
that's the worst contest ive ever heard about.
im going to just buy my own beer and not go
MyNameIsJeff
Posted: Fri Jan 18, 2008 11:40 am
BOOSH!Joined: 17 Jul 2007Posts: 2042Location: Nearest bar.
Oh did I hit reply? I feel asleep reading about this lame shit and my head must have hit the keyboard or something. Weird.
Eric_s
Posted: Fri Jan 18, 2008 12:02 pm
Joined: 07 Mar 2007Posts: 1691Location: the dirty south
Next contest: Who has the brightest neon cycling jacket/winter tights combo?
_________________ That's Lemmy, Not Jesus.
TrikerTrev
Posted: Fri Jan 18, 2008 12:13 pm
Joined: 23 Oct 2006Posts: 2303Location: FOCO, MOFO!!!
ito,
how about ya get a case and i'll bring the pellet rifle and scope?
ya gotta drink twice if ya miss the light.
_________________ Insufferable ass, est. 1969
derrickito
Posted: Fri Jan 18, 2008 12:40 pm
now with 50 percent more EVILJoined: 22 Jul 2005Posts: 10566
im game.
joeball
Posted: Fri Jan 18, 2008 1:05 pm
Joined: 24 Jul 2005Posts: 6037Location: Ether
+
=
john
Posted: Fri Jan 18, 2008 3:45 pm
AAAARRRRRGGGGbllll pppphtt!Joined: 26 Aug 2006Posts: 725Location: In the lab.
joeball wrote:
or....
+
+
_________________ In der Not frisst der Teufel Fliegen.
Have you ever been blinded by bike lights on the BG trail? I put mine on low and point it down, I wish other would do the same. It may come to the point where the city will have to paint fog lines at the edge of the trail. I love my LED!
snyd3282
Posted: Fri Jan 18, 2008 9:43 pm
could suck the fun out of a blowjobJoined: 23 Jul 2007Posts: 588Location: Ballard / Fremont
I <3 .83
Damn, you guys make me laugh so much. It just makes my day to read this shit.
Was that me, or was that the whiskey talking?
joby
Posted: Fri Jan 18, 2008 10:43 pm
goes to elevenJoined: 25 Jul 2005Posts: 3899Location: The Cloud
There's now a link to this thread from the Cascade thread.
In other news, Alex Wetmore continues to pressure me to buy his Crack Cocaine.
gsbarnes
Posted: Sat Jan 19, 2008 12:19 am
Joined: 15 Aug 2006Posts: 2666Location: No Fun Town, USA
Quick! Hide the TOS before Chris Cameron discovers our top-secret plan to convert our spoke cards into Cascade membership cards and get valuable discounts!
Confidential to Joby: The grey goose flies at dawn. The tractor has left the barn.
_________________ I have always thought in the back of my mind: Cheese and Onions
lantius
Posted: Sat Jan 19, 2008 2:24 am
1337Joined: 22 Jul 2005Posts: 6705Location: right over
joby wrote:
In other news, Alex Wetmore continues to pressure me to buy his Crack Cocaine.
no no, joby, please stay in this thread. don't run off and have a pout!
joby
Posted: Sat Jan 19, 2008 9:15 am
goes to elevenJoined: 25 Jul 2005Posts: 3899Location: The Cloud
Chris Cameron wrote:
According to the Pointless 83-IQ message board a couple members (BigWheelerTrevor and the drop-dead gorgeous Ite-it) will be hiding in the bushes with their pellet guns and shooting at contestants and their lights.
I captured a screen shot of the threat and have forwarded it onto my contact SPD for review/comment.
We should be fine, but bring your day-glow flack jackets just in case they decide to skip their anger management class and start taking shots.
TrikerTrev
Posted: Sat Jan 19, 2008 9:37 am
Joined: 23 Oct 2006Posts: 2303Location: FOCO, MOFO!!!
joby wrote:
Chris Cameron wrote:
According to the Pointless 83-IQ message board a couple members (BigWheelerTrevor and the drop-dead gorgeous Ite-it) will be hiding in the bushes with their pellet guns and shooting at contestants and their lights.
I captured a screen shot of the threat and have forwarded it onto my contact SPD for review/comment.
We should be fine, but bring your day-glow flack jackets just in case they decide to skip their anger management class and start taking shots.
Chris Cramrod =
...dang, somebody forget to turn on HIS SARCASM FILTER!
_________________ Insufferable ass, est. 1969
TrikerTrev
Posted: Sat Jan 19, 2008 10:11 am
Joined: 23 Oct 2006Posts: 2303Location: FOCO, MOFO!!!
hey der-ick?
maybe we should pimp out 12 yos instead?
thoughts
_________________ Insufferable ass, est. 1969
ksep
Posted: Sat Jan 19, 2008 10:49 am
Joined: 27 Jan 2007Posts: 1879Location: Westlake
Chris Cameron wrote:
I captured a screen shot of the threat and have forwarded it onto my contact SPD for review/comment.
Please let this screenshot include the call's "Don't forget kids: the higher your postcount, the bigger your penis is!" signature and "tubboy" custom title from the response.
_________________ -Kevin
derrickito
Posted: Sat Jan 19, 2008 1:04 pm
now with 50 percent more EVILJoined: 22 Jul 2005Posts: 10566
holy christ that's funny
HI SPD!
laura
Posted: Sat Jan 19, 2008 6:57 pm
Joined: 22 Jun 2007Posts: 1050Location: wherever the dance party is
TrikerTrev wrote:
...dang, somebody forget to turn on HIS SARCASM FILTER!
Man, that combination of spandex and neon has serious side effects: lack-luster attempts at humor, minimal capacity to detect sarcasm, and a complete inability to ignore us.
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could suck the fun out of a blowjob
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now with 50 percent more EVIL
Joined: 22 Jul 2005
Posts: 10566
BOOSH!
Joined: 17 Jul 2007
Posts: 2042
Location: Nearest bar.
Joined: 07 Mar 2007
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Location: the dirty south
Joined: 23 Oct 2006
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Location: FOCO, MOFO!!!
Joined: 24 Jul 2005
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Location: Ether
AAAARRRRRGGGGbllll pppphtt!
Joined: 26 Aug 2006
Posts: 725
Location: In the lab.
goes to eleven
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Location: The Cloud
Joined: 15 Aug 2006
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Location: No Fun Town, USA
1337
Joined: 22 Jul 2005
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Location: right over
Joined: 27 Jan 2007
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Location: Westlake
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rocket mechanic
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