1337Joined: 22 Jul 2005Posts: 6705Location: right over
fuck, i can't use nuance in a troll thread, can i?
now you've got me all inspired to go 4chan it up over here.
S.Hyphen
Posted: Mon Jun 01, 2009 7:06 pm
Joined: 13 Mar 2008Posts: 189Location: Seattle
hey look ma! I got my picture in the paper! (at least I think that's me)
_________________ Suzanne
tehschkott
Posted: Mon Jun 01, 2009 9:16 pm
daywalkerJoined: 09 Nov 2007Posts: 6108Location: Hatertown
I love CM posts. Everyone has an opportunity to complain. Oooh look, CM pissed off a bunch of people again. Everyone has a pile of really righteous arguments against CM. And next month CM happens again, just like their bitching and complaining and really helpful "suggestions" didn't matter a lick.
And lo and behold, they don't.
Disenfranchised Americans FTW!
_________________ GREAT UNITER / ORACLE / ELDER
MOOAAR DONGS
MyNameIsJeff
Posted: Mon Jun 01, 2009 10:54 pm
BOOSH!Joined: 17 Jul 2007Posts: 2042Location: Nearest bar.
It's a giant party on wheels! And who doesn't like to party?
Rogelio
Posted: Tue Jun 02, 2009 5:49 am
Joined: 31 Jul 2007Posts: 3092Location: Pos, aya, por la Corona-Alta-Madera y que no.
We need to find the guy in charge of Critical Mass. The douchebag who owns Critical Mass should be held responsible for the actions of his company. It's a highway, as in an open road for speeding cars.
Quote:
A car SCREEEECHed to a stop. Once we corked the flow of traffic, we were golden.
WTF
I followed a link from the SLOG and they apparently have a website for this thing:
Open letter to this guy:
MR. MCLECLAN,
IF YOU ARE GOING TO ORGANIZE A MONTHLY PARADE YOU SHOULD MAKE SURE IT DOESN'T COMPLETELY FUCK THE TAXPAYING CITIZENS WHO OWN THE ROADS BY FILLING IT UP WITH YOU ANARCHIST WANNABE BIKE FAGSS.
YOU SHOULD GROW UP AND BUY A CAR YOU STUPID FUCK BAG.
SINCEREST FUCK-OFF,
JOSE AMERICAN TAXPAYER
...and that's what I have to say about that.
_________________ Do you like apples?
langston
Posted: Tue Jun 02, 2009 7:56 am
Joined: 25 Jul 2005Posts: 5547Location: Columbia City
I like how angry motorists and CBC claim that Critical Mass does nothing but hurt the cause of "cycling", whatever the fuck that is. Yet, somehow, every angry motorist recognizes CM near immediatley
Greenpeace has the SeaSheppard, Cascade has Critical Mass.
_________________ riders wanted for hazardous journey. Small wages, bitter cold, long months of complete darkness, constant danger, safe return doubtful. Honour and recognition in case of success.
vaticdart
Posted: Tue Jun 02, 2009 8:19 am
Joined: 02 Aug 2007Posts: 649Location: Inside a Bell
To me CM is about flipping the power dynamic upside down for 2 hours every month. Even the most law abiding, considerate, patient cyclist in the world is still at the shit end of the power dynamic on our roadways. Most of that shit comes from the complacency and unconsciousness with which most people operate their motor vehicles, brought about by their ubiquity in our culture. It's anarchy, it's not a protest or a demonstration, and it's going to piss people off, regardless of whether we take 99 or not.
So no, CM doesn't need to take 99 to make its point, but as its point isn't to further the "cause of cycling", taking 99 and pissing off a few more people doesn't hurt it.
And goddamn it was pretty up there.
_________________ If the river was whiskey I'd turn myself into a duck, I'd dive to the bottom and never come up.
mcrawfor
Posted: Tue Jun 02, 2009 8:54 am
Joined: 09 May 2006Posts: 1039Location: Ballard
The next person to post on this thread is a fuckwit, just like every other CM thread.
_________________ -miles
fourfingersdown
Posted: Tue Jun 02, 2009 9:18 am
r.w. = rainn wilson!Joined: 21 Mar 2008Posts: 1078Location: NOT FUCKING ENGLAND
ZOMG Otter pops! I think I've had 7 already. Can we make this the Otter Pop thread?
_________________ Please disregard.
MyNameIsJeff
Posted: Tue Jun 02, 2009 9:21 am
BOOSH!Joined: 17 Jul 2007Posts: 2042Location: Nearest bar.
I believe the Critical Mass Chairman has something he'd like to add to this thread:
lantius
Posted: Tue Jun 02, 2009 9:56 am
1337Joined: 22 Jul 2005Posts: 6705Location: right over
fourfingersdown wrote:
ZOMG Otter pops! I think I've had 7 already. Can we make this the Otter Pop thread?
this dude wants to please you:
mcrawfor
Posted: Tue Jun 02, 2009 9:56 am
Joined: 09 May 2006Posts: 1039Location: Ballard
_________________ -miles
ksep
Posted: Tue Jun 02, 2009 11:21 am
Joined: 27 Jan 2007Posts: 1879Location: Westlake
You Never Bike Alone demonstrates how (after a very rough patch at the beginning--maybe the equivalent of our "White Subaru") CM in Vancouver was able to bring about a widening of the Lion's Gate Bridge (cf. Ballard/Aurora bridges) with great cycling facilities. Remember the taming of the SLUT ride? They held Taming of the Lion rides.
To this day, Vancouver CM frequently rides out on the Lion's Gate Bridge, stops in the middle blocking traffic in both directions, parties for a bit and rolls back into Stanley Park. Can you imagine? There's even a police escort at the tail of CM that allows this to happen. It's fucking awesome.
But Seattle is filled with douchy cyclists and motorists and politicans. I'm not convinced CM or SeattleLikesBikes protests or even SBAB works here. Cascade's advocacy wing maybe sometimes works.
All this pales in comparison to the best form of bicycle advocacy I've found: convincing your friends to ride bikes. In the past year or so I've driven (hey-OH!) no less than five bicycle purchases and even taught one person how to ride a bike. None of these people will ever want to run me or another cyclist over in a car now. That's advocacy that works.
_________________ -Kevin
Rogelio
Posted: Tue Jun 02, 2009 11:34 am
Joined: 31 Jul 2007Posts: 3092Location: Pos, aya, por la Corona-Alta-Madera y que no.
abamfici wrote:
..CM in Vancouver was able to bring about a widening of the Lion's Gate Bridge (cf. Ballard/Aurora bridges) with great cycling facilities... That's advocacy that works.
*cough*
*cough*
...520
*cough*
TAME THE FIVE TWUMP!!!
_________________ Do you like apples?
btm
Posted: Tue Jun 02, 2009 12:20 pm
Joined: 02 Jul 2008Posts: 493Location: Rural Maine
Rogelio wrote:
MR. MCLECLAN,
IF YOU ARE GOING TO ORGANIZE A MONTHLY PARADE YOU SHOULD MAKE SURE IT DOESN'T COMPLETELY FUCK THE TAXPAYING CITIZENS WHO OWN THE ROADS BY FILLING IT UP WITH YOU ANARCHIST WANNABE BIKE FAGSS.
YOU SHOULD GROW UP AND BUY A CAR YOU STUPID FUCK BAG..
Dear Sir,
Actually they're my roads. I won them with an excellent poker hand. Please be walking in Seattle from now on or I'll run you over and you'll look like this:
abamfici wrote:
But Seattle is filled with douchy cyclists and motorists and politicans. I'm not convinced CM or SeattleLikesBikes protests or even SBAB works here. Cascade's advocacy wing maybe sometimes works.
I'm not sure what the definition of "works" is to you. Those groups do different things. I wouldn't say their goal is to get your friend on a bicycle either, perhaps CM by riding by your friend and having a good time, thus making your friend jealous being a cager.
How does getting your friend on a bicycle ensure that rebuilt city streets are designed with bicycles in mind? Or how about getting the missing link completed on the BG? These groups are successful at what they do. Maybe you should be helping.
Joined: 13 Dec 2005Posts: 1930Location: balls deepx
i'm not convinced critical mass does anything to change anyone's opinion of bikes on the road.
also, i refuse to believe just about anyone here that says they don't enjoy winding people up for the hell of it. this post and helmet posts are proof positive that a well-placed "fuck you" is enjoyed by most.
btm
Posted: Tue Jun 02, 2009 12:34 pm
Joined: 02 Jul 2008Posts: 493Location: Rural Maine
pete jr wrote:
i'm not convinced critical mass does anything to change anyone's opinion of bikes on the road.
I'm sure it does, just perhaps not for the better. There's a lot of bitching about CM, so there's plenty of evidence of opinion out there. CM makes people aware that there are a lot of bikes out there. We could all debate forever if this is good or not. Whatever. People have fun on bikes, and I think that's good to see. Some crotchety old fuck isn't going to go "hey, they're having fun, maybe bikes are okay and I was an asshole cager all along!".
Anyway, you don't change people's opinions. People choose to think, and their opinion changes... or they don't. Whatever happens, you got to have a fun bike ride on a nice day.
1337Joined: 22 Jul 2005Posts: 6705Location: right over
henry wrote:
pete jr wrote:
helmet posts
ooh! something for next week.
"Cascade's advocacy wing maybe sometimes works."
yeah! just ask everybody who got a helmet ticket how good they are at advocating for new bicycle laws!
mcrawfor
Posted: Tue Jun 02, 2009 1:07 pm
Joined: 09 May 2006Posts: 1039Location: Ballard
henry wrote:
pete jr wrote:
helmet posts
ooh! something for next week.
I fucking hate you. Why do you do this to us? Why will people open a thread with an OP that says "Hi this is a troll" and then just bally well go ahead.
_________________ -miles
Chip McShoulder
Posted: Tue Jun 02, 2009 1:08 pm
dog licking ice cream coneJoined: 11 Aug 2008Posts: 3022Location: Rainbow Road
Bwah hah hah. Nice work, Lee.
Quote:
Last summer I was riding my bike in the Philadelphia Critical Mass, we were having a bunch of fun and it was really cool - lots of different people out on bikes as well just having a good time. Traffic was pretty light until we got across the river on Parkside. This was my old neighborhood where I grew up and it's gotten a little rough. I was corking when suddenly these five dudes jumped out of their SUV and started beating the shit out of me. I don't know why they were so pissed but they were throwing me around and hitting me, it got pretty bad - I was just glad they didn't have pull out guns. Anyhow, I got in one little fight and my mom got scared and said, "You're movin' with your auntie and uncle in Bel-Air." I whistled for a cab and when it came near the license plate said fresh and it had dice in the mirror. If anything I could say that this cab was rare, but I thought, "Nah, forget it. Yo, holmes to Bel-Air!" I pulled up to the house about 7 or 8 and I yelled to the cabbie, "Yo holmes smell ya later!" Looked at my kingdom I was finally there, to sit on my throne as the prince of Bel-Air.
1337Joined: 22 Jul 2005Posts: 6705Location: right over
i can only hope to be as good as this guy:
Quote:
Hey CM why don't you go cork in the black neighborhoods and enlighten all the buhruthaz in their hoopties?
What? You don't want to do that?
CHICKENS BOCK BOCK BOCK
corpusjuris
Posted: Tue Jun 02, 2009 1:20 pm
Don't you ever lie to meJoined: 12 May 2008Posts: 1059Location: Boat on a hill
in b4 triforce.
_________________ "Are those guys hitting each other? Should someone be doing something about this?" "No, they're just playing this game that they play, and they'll wear themselves out in a minute or two."
Chip McShoulder
Posted: Tue Jun 02, 2009 1:29 pm
dog licking ice cream coneJoined: 11 Aug 2008Posts: 3022Location: Rainbow Road
somewhat piggishJoined: 05 Aug 2005Posts: 5415Location: on porch with shotgun
mcrawfor wrote:
I fucking hate you. Why do you do this to us? Why will people open a thread with an OP that says "Hi this is a troll" and then just bally well go ahead.
Because this forum is mad boring, and talking about bike stuff is good for community.
now with 50 percent more EVILJoined: 22 Jul 2005Posts: 10566
i like talking about cars on bike forums.
ben sat in the back of my car with his fat girlfriend the other day and broke my shocks. now i need to get new shocks.
Eric_s
Posted: Tue Jun 02, 2009 4:01 pm
Joined: 07 Mar 2007Posts: 1691Location: the dirty south
seriously, in the black neighborhood they usually cheer as we ride by. unless it's kent.
anyone wanna take CM on a round-the-lake tour? CM mercer island loop?
Also, there isn't much CM in portland, just a few hot-heads wanting to start shit with the cops. portland isn't better, it's just different.
pete jr
Posted: Tue Jun 02, 2009 4:12 pm
Joined: 13 Dec 2005Posts: 1930Location: balls deepx
btm wrote:
I'm sure it does, just perhaps not for the better. There's a lot of bitching about CM, so there's plenty of evidence of opinion out there.
the unspoken assertion was that the people bitching about cm would be bitching regardless.
hi miles! how's that rss feed going?!
pete jr
Posted: Tue Jun 02, 2009 4:12 pm
Joined: 13 Dec 2005Posts: 1930Location: balls deepx
also, dicks.
mcrawfor
Posted: Tue Jun 02, 2009 8:12 pm
Joined: 09 May 2006Posts: 1039Location: Ballard
Hi pete, RSS has changed my life.
Next month I'm just going to copy paste this whole thread and every other identical thread we've ever had into the replies.
_________________ -miles
Oldmesenger82
Posted: Wed Jun 03, 2009 7:04 pm
Joined: 30 Jun 2006Posts: 204Location: Fremont
CM is cool but staying on 99 that long lame. Mass is more fun and fucks with traffic less if it turns.
could suck the fun out of a blowjobJoined: 23 Jul 2007Posts: 588Location: Ballard / Fremont
If anyone is interested in doing some video editing, I have about 1hr 30 min of helmetcam footage of this last mass including the viaduct and tunnel. I don't really want to throw the full raw footage out to the public, but I don't have the time to do it justice either.
corpusjuris
Posted: Wed Jun 03, 2009 10:40 pm
Don't you ever lie to meJoined: 12 May 2008Posts: 1059Location: Boat on a hill
Oldmesenger82 wrote:
CM is cool but staying on 99 that long lame. Mass is more fun and fucks with traffic less if it turns.
Agreed. The viaduct was fun enough, but I hoped we would get off at, what is that, western? Then the tunnel, which was mildly novel, at which point I started to shout we take the interurban and not be dicks, but we kept going to fucking Fremont, which was just boring and too much, and even loving annoying cars had me feelings bit guilty.
_________________ "Are those guys hitting each other? Should someone be doing something about this?" "No, they're just playing this game that they play, and they'll wear themselves out in a minute or two."
derrickito
Posted: Wed Jun 03, 2009 11:18 pm
now with 50 percent more EVILJoined: 22 Jul 2005Posts: 10566
if you get in the front of critical mass and tell people where to go, they generally listen. if you dont like where its going, get in front and change it. the pack is generally a pack of lemmings, if you get the first few people to move a direction, everyone else just follows.
Last edited by ethan on Tue Jun 09, 2009 9:02 pm; edited 2 times in total
Sylvie!
Posted: Fri Jun 05, 2009 1:49 am
Joined: 10 Aug 2008Posts: 89Location: Cap Hill
I propose we make Critical Mass into Critical Tits (a-la Burning Man) and make all the ladies ride topless. Will that make everyone happy?
langston
Posted: Fri Jun 05, 2009 7:26 am
Joined: 25 Jul 2005Posts: 5547Location: Columbia City
Sylvie! wrote:
I propose we make Critical Mass into Critical Tits (a-la Burning Man) and make all the ladies ride topless. Will that make everyone happy?
yes
_________________ riders wanted for hazardous journey. Small wages, bitter cold, long months of complete darkness, constant danger, safe return doubtful. Honour and recognition in case of success.
tehschkott
Posted: Fri Jun 05, 2009 1:49 pm
daywalkerJoined: 09 Nov 2007Posts: 6108Location: Hatertown
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1337
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r.w. = rainn wilson!
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dog licking ice cream cone
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Don't you ever lie to me
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now with 50 percent more EVIL
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could suck the fun out of a blowjob
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