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n_claw
Posted: Thu Jul 15, 2010 11:27 am Reply with quote
Joined: 02 Jul 2007 Posts: 517 Location: the only hill: Beacon

Hey creatures, my super-awesome rad-jew/fiddler/music teacher housemate, Mai Li, recently received a road bike via our other housemate (Eric the ridiculously pale and unbearded, as you may know him), and had finally been converted to the way of the drop bar and what she calls 'cat in heat position'. In a fit of pique, she left her new and precious steed unlocked in front of our house for a few days (foolish, foolish!). Sadly, the bike disappeared sometime last night, and she (in tears) discovered it this morning. She is broke as a joke, and we'd be glad to see this bike back in our stable, as I'm not sure how easily we can all scrape together resources to get her another.

It's a ~56cm lugged blue Nishiki with gold lettering, probably from around 1984, and you may recognize it as the bike Eric-the-palest used to roll around on until he finally got a bike that fit him. May also include ridiculous accessories like a ladybug-spot painted top tube cover, and/or a couch-sized cruiser seat.

We pulled this bike outta the basement at our old house, the Hill-ton, and fixed it up with scavenged parts, so it's not beautiful, but it was free, and biking is her main form of transportation beyond hitching rides and so on. If you have a similar-sized bike or frame lying around that you'd let go for cheep or free, holler at me? 27" wheels okay, I just want to get her back on a bike again. Can trade woolens or delicious meals, I make amazing, beautiful, and delicious/spicy things.

Love!
-N*
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the dreaded ben
Posted: Thu Jul 15, 2010 12:39 pm Reply with quote
Grumpy Greeb Joined: 20 Aug 2005 Posts: 5329 Location: flavor country

have you ever seen a duck not having fun?
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henry
Posted: Thu Jul 15, 2010 12:42 pm Reply with quote
somewhat piggish Joined: 05 Aug 2005 Posts: 5415 Location: on porch with shotgun

The phrase is: "Have you ever seen a duck that didn't look like it was having a good time."

Cue Derrick's duck rape story.

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n_claw
Posted: Thu Jul 15, 2010 1:01 pm Reply with quote
Joined: 02 Jul 2007 Posts: 517 Location: the only hill: Beacon

henry wrote:
The phrase is: "Have you ever seen a duck that didn't look like it was having a good time."

Cue Derrick's duck rape story.


This was so much better before I misplaced my sense of humor under the couch.
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MyNameIsJeff
Posted: Thu Jul 15, 2010 1:08 pm Reply with quote
BOOSH! Joined: 17 Jul 2007 Posts: 2042 Location: Nearest bar.

I know of a Schwinn Continental that appears to have been abandoned in my alley. Collecting dust in the same position for weeks now.

Bearings are literally falling out of the rear hub.
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derrickito
Posted: Thu Jul 15, 2010 1:19 pm Reply with quote
now with 50 percent more EVIL Joined: 22 Jul 2005 Posts: 10566

even the duck i saw getting gang raped looked like it was having a surprisingly good time
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n_claw
Posted: Thu Jul 15, 2010 1:31 pm Reply with quote
Joined: 02 Jul 2007 Posts: 517 Location: the only hill: Beacon

sounds like an awfully convenient prospect for hobo cycle 2: analog boogaloo. any idea on size? and wheresat?

THE BICYCLE NOT THE DUCK. dammit derrick!
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henry
Posted: Thu Jul 15, 2010 1:32 pm Reply with quote
somewhat piggish Joined: 05 Aug 2005 Posts: 5415 Location: on porch with shotgun

Consent is defined very differently in many amphibious cultures.

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Chip McShoulder
Posted: Sat Jul 17, 2010 1:12 am Reply with quote
dog licking ice cream cone Joined: 11 Aug 2008 Posts: 3022 Location: Rainbow Road

Hey guys! Hey guys!

One way or the other, this story is about to get funnier.

Stay tuned.

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Chip McShoulder
Posted: Sat Jul 17, 2010 2:38 am Reply with quote
dog licking ice cream cone Joined: 11 Aug 2008 Posts: 3022 Location: Rainbow Road

Ok, so the story is still pretty funny, but not as funny as I hoped it could be. But it isn't

Oh, shit. It just started to get funnier in the middle of me typing that last sentence.

Really, stay tuned.

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Chip McShoulder
Posted: Sat Jul 17, 2010 3:07 am Reply with quote
dog licking ice cream cone Joined: 11 Aug 2008 Posts: 3022 Location: Rainbow Road

Ok, the story wound up being moderately funny. We'll tell you in the morning.

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henry
Posted: Sun Jul 18, 2010 5:16 pm Reply with quote
somewhat piggish Joined: 05 Aug 2005 Posts: 5415 Location: on porch with shotgun

Can we get an update on this t'fitz?

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Chip McShoulder
Posted: Sun Jul 18, 2010 10:30 pm Reply with quote
dog licking ice cream cone Joined: 11 Aug 2008 Posts: 3022 Location: Rainbow Road

Ok, sorry for the delay. I left for Suiattle yesterday morning and haven't had a chance to tell this tale.

Part I:

So Friday night, Wreyfords, myself and a few others are hanging out at the Summit. The Wreyfords leave to check out the scene in front of the QFC (since this is where Ryan saw his bike a few days ago). I head there shortly afterward and go in to buy some beer.

I pay for the beer, come outside, and find Ryan holding a ~56cm lugged blue Nishiki with gold lettering, probably from around 1984. He is informing a young tweaker that the bike is stolen, and that he is taking possession of it. The kid disagrees; he insists that the bike legitimately belongs to him, or at the very least, he isn't the one who stole it. Ryan, in turn, invites him to either summon the security guard from inside the store, or call the full-blown police. The kid declines.

The kid is informed that we are going to lock the bike to the rack in front of the store, then go home and make some phone calls, and return in a half-hour. Furthermore, he has absolutely no choice in the matter. Unless, of course, he would like to call the police and straighten things out that way. He again declines, but is overall pretty agitated about the situation. Chase manages to lock the bike to the rack with one arm, and then Ryan and Chase walk back to the house, and the kid tries to follow them.

I stick around for a minute and talk to the kid's friend. This guy is thoroughly entertained by the entire situation, and is getting a pretty good laugh out of seeing his friend so worked up. He also informs me that his friend traded the bike to "this old guy we know" for "$10 of drugs". I ask him where he thinks the old guy got it, to which he replies "well, he stole it. Obviously." I bid him a good evening, and head home.

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Chip McShoulder
Posted: Sun Jul 18, 2010 10:42 pm Reply with quote
dog licking ice cream cone Joined: 11 Aug 2008 Posts: 3022 Location: Rainbow Road

Part II:

So, we are all home now. Ryan wakes up everyone he knows trying to get a hold of Nova. In the meantime, I rouse my maintenance guy, Sway. If you haven't met Sway, the relevant details are:

1) You don't want to fuck with him.

As you may know, our basement was broken into last week. A couple days afterward, someone cut a garden hose and was siphoning gas in front of the building. Sway is not really happy about either of these events, and I had a full rack of beer, so it wasn't too hard to get him on board.

Ryan finally gets Nova on the phone, and sends her a picture of the bike. No dice, it isn't her rad-fiddler-jew's bike. Since the bike is almost certainly stolen, however, Ryan decides to go back to the store, see about reclaiming it and trying to find the owner.

So we do that. The front wheel has been taken off the bike, but it is otherwise intact. The kids have gone somewhere else. So, the bike is wheeled back to the house, put in a secret location, and Ryan posts "bike found, is it yours?" to Craigslist. We decide to sit out front of the house for a little bit to see if the kid tries to come by. I am in the middle of posting to the forums when...

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Chip McShoulder
Posted: Sun Jul 18, 2010 10:53 pm Reply with quote
dog licking ice cream cone Joined: 11 Aug 2008 Posts: 3022 Location: Rainbow Road

Part III:

The kid comes by the house. He still insists that the bike is rightfully his, and that he wants it back. Sway leaps into action, and demands to know if the kid has ever been in the building. The kid doesn't have a whole lot to say about this, and starts to reach toward his pockets. Sway tells him to get his hands the fuck away from his pockets. He does.

Sway continues his interrogation, but the kid isn't nearly as talkative as he had been earlier in the night. He is probably starting to realize that he isn't going to get the bike back, and is kind of in way over his head at this point. Sway grabs the kid by his shoulders, which prompts the kid to start screaming in a manner not unlike that of a stray cat. Sway lets go of him, and he runs off.

We stayed up a little bit longer, with no further events to report. In the morning, Ryan bought renter's insurance.

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langston
Posted: Mon Jul 19, 2010 7:40 am Reply with quote
Joined: 25 Jul 2005 Posts: 5547 Location: Columbia City

Chip McShoulder wrote:
Part III:



We stayed up a little bit longer, with no further events to report. In the morning, Ryan bought renter's insurance.



good story, but be careful about goin' around liberating bikes. There are lots of people more violent than me out there, and if you tried to throw a lock over my beater bike I'd start the conflict resolution by breaking your nose.

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fourfingersdown
Posted: Mon Jul 19, 2010 10:00 am Reply with quote
r.w. = rainn wilson! Joined: 21 Mar 2008 Posts: 1078 Location: NOT FUCKING ENGLAND

langston wrote:
Chip McShoulder wrote:
Part III:



We stayed up a little bit longer, with no further events to report. In the morning, Ryan bought renter's insurance.



good story, but be careful about goin' around liberating bikes. There are lots of people more violent than me out there, and if you tried to throw a lock over my beater bike I'd start the conflict resolution by breaking your nose.

Yeah, you kinda had to be there. No one was kicking our ass. I've ran into these kids every night since then and they're to scared to do a damn thing. We're talking about 18 year old, tweaker, street-kid bike thieves, not the bloods and crips.

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gsbarnes
Posted: Mon Jul 19, 2010 11:01 am Reply with quote
Joined: 15 Aug 2006 Posts: 2666 Location: No Fun Town, USA

Crips and Bloods hang out at Lake Sammammish these days, so no worries.

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jeff
Posted: Mon Jul 19, 2010 11:24 am Reply with quote
SOC pussy Joined: 05 May 2006 Posts: 4501

gsbarnes wrote:
Crips and Bloods hang out at Lake Sammammish these days, so no worries.


Race fail.
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lantius
Posted: Mon Jul 19, 2010 11:45 am Reply with quote
1337 Joined: 22 Jul 2005 Posts: 6705 Location: right over

jeff wrote:
gsbarnes wrote:
Crips and Bloods hang out at Lake Sammammish these days, so no worries.

Race fail.

the race is at greenlake, not lake sammamish.
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gsbarnes
Posted: Mon Jul 19, 2010 12:49 pm Reply with quote
Joined: 15 Aug 2006 Posts: 2666 Location: No Fun Town, USA

As a 21st century bike gang, .83 strives to be color blind. Try to keep up.

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fatasian
Posted: Mon Jul 19, 2010 12:56 pm Reply with quote
dick wang's father Joined: 26 Aug 2008 Posts: 1707 Location: devenshire

jeff wrote:
gsbarnes wrote:
Crips and Bloods hang out at Lake Sammammish these days, so no worries.


Race fail.


take the high road or gtfo. /wink
see how that happens?
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jeff
Posted: Mon Jul 19, 2010 1:04 pm Reply with quote
SOC pussy Joined: 05 May 2006 Posts: 4501

fatasian wrote:
jeff wrote:
gsbarnes wrote:
Crips and Bloods hang out at Lake Sammammish these days, so no worries.


Race fail.


take the high road or gtfo. /wink
see how that happens?


What race are you again?
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fatasian
Posted: Mon Jul 19, 2010 1:14 pm Reply with quote
dick wang's father Joined: 26 Aug 2008 Posts: 1707 Location: devenshire

Nascar?
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fourfingersdown
Posted: Mon Jul 19, 2010 1:17 pm Reply with quote
r.w. = rainn wilson! Joined: 21 Mar 2008 Posts: 1078 Location: NOT FUCKING ENGLAND

Pretty sure I just found the owner of the bike!

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Razi
Posted: Tue Jul 20, 2010 6:02 am Reply with quote
Joined: 16 Dec 2005 Posts: 866 Location: Seattle

I give this thread two extremely enthusiastic thumbs up.

Unrelatedly, on my ride home from my market town to my mountain village yesterday, the woman sitting next to me in the bush taxi kept on having her boobs completely pop out of her tube top whenever the car hit a bump in the road. The road to my site is really shitty. It was the best third world taxi ride of all time.

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henry
Posted: Tue Jul 20, 2010 7:08 am Reply with quote
somewhat piggish Joined: 05 Aug 2005 Posts: 5415 Location: on porch with shotgun

Razi wrote:
I give this thread two extremely enthusiastic thumbs up.

Unrelatedly, on my ride home from my market town to my mountain village yesterday, the woman sitting next to me in the bush taxi kept on having her boobs completely pop out of her tube top whenever the car hit a bump in the road. The road to my site is really shitty. It was the best third world taxi ride of all time.


I love you Raz.

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the dreaded ben
Posted: Tue Jul 20, 2010 7:40 am Reply with quote
Grumpy Greeb Joined: 20 Aug 2005 Posts: 5329 Location: flavor country

henry wrote:
Razi wrote:
I give this thread two extremely enthusiastic thumbs up.

Unrelatedly, on my ride home from my market town to my mountain village yesterday, the woman sitting next to me in the bush taxi kept on having her boobs completely pop out of her tube top whenever the car hit a bump in the road. The road to my site is really shitty. It was the best third world taxi ride of all time.


I love you Raz.

a goat-b-q is clearly in order.
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Razi
Posted: Tue Jul 20, 2010 8:10 am Reply with quote
Joined: 16 Dec 2005 Posts: 866 Location: Seattle

I love you too, Henry.

I'll be back in a year, give or take a few weeks.

By then my curry goat making skills should hopefully be top notch. As it is, my curry goat now is ok, but not as good as what you can get on the street. Goat-b-q is an awesome idea.

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