by jsmg » Mon Sep 12, 2011 9:32 am
<img src="http://dl.dropbox.com/u/3122224/images/frenchfrycards-forum.jpg">
<b>The Point 83 Fattypants Subcommittee presents the 5th Annual: Never Forget! (How Fat You Really Are) 2011 Bike Ride & Freedom Fry Eating Contest</b>
Hey there, fatty. Yes, I mean you. Would you like some <strike>french</strike>freedom fries? Do you think you've got what it takes to eat more fries than all of your friends? Then read/eat on.
This Thursday, 7pm meetup and 7:30pm departure per normal. There will be a bike ride that culminates in a contest of gluttonous proportions. You won't arrive at the french fry place until 9:30 at the earliest, so plan accordingly.
Fry spoke cards, trophy for the winner (there are trophies for male and female), and bragging rights as the fattest fatty. To register, show up, ride, check in with me to be a fry eating participant, and eat eat eat. That's it! No cash, no muss. (Feel free to buy the organizers drinks out of appreciation.)
RULES
1. Vomit: If you vomit while the contest is still going, you're disqualified. If you vomit after the contest has ended, more power to you.
2. Time Limits: There is no time limit! The contest continues until everyone has been beaten into greasy, fried submission.
3. Bathroom Breaks: NO BATHROOM BREAKS. Get your business done before you start eating.
4. Bowing Out: If you've had as much as you can take, you must scream "I'M A STUPID BABY". At that time your total will be posted, and you are free to do whatever you'd like with the contents of your stomach. If you vomit outside, you may or may not be let back inside. It hasn't seemed to have been an issue in the past, but it's a bar and you never know.
The person with the most fry baskets eaten will win a fabulously shitty prize, a few extra pounds, a week's suply of regret, and our the short-lived admiration of your peers.
AGAIN: The goal is to eat the <b>MOST</b> baskets of fries. Speed and/or length of time is not important.
I'll see you fat fuckers Thursday.
I was a nice person, once. Then I met you guys.