Basic rules

1. Don't listen to Derrick.
2. Don't listen to Derrick!
3. Safety third.
4. If you do not know where you are going, do not sprint off the front.
5. Do not crash into people, you drunken moron.
6. Don't have more forum posts than miles riding with the group! Bike Sabbath miles don't count.
7. No stopping for strippers until the ride has gone at least 10 miles, and everyone has had at least 3 drinks
8. The above rule only applies to Derrick
9. Don't ask for help when your unlocked bike gets stolen. Seriously. We'll just laugh at you.
10. If you produce a keg be careful of someone trying to get you to go on a beer run.
11. If thou insists upon wreaking dumbfuckery, be ye not surprised when you reap dumbfuckery.
12. Insults (and injuries) are temporary. Lolz are forever.
13. Calendar boys do what they want, run with 12 gangs, and only commit hate crimes.
14. Bikes do not belong on fires!
15. U-locks are melee weapons, not ranged.
16. Rule 14 does not apply to Derrick's bikes
17. Don't stick it in crazy.
18. If you are unable to make it to a ride, you must inform Ben.
19. Beef will be handled per the details in Sub Paragraph A of the TOS
20. Sarcasm will not be tolerated
21. If you kill it, you eat it.
22. No Pets Allowed. Not on a leash, not in a trailer, not even in a box with a fox. You cannot bring your dog.
23. Chainwhip!
24. All forum polls must include "Swayze" as an option, or their results will be rendered invalid. "Peter J. Woodman" is not an acceptable substitute.
25. Sometimes the shots/strippers/drinks we buy for you, aren't for you. They're for us.
    Protip: When Derrick offers you a bottle, he's not hooking you up.
    
26. Sleeping with .83 members does not guarantee you .83 membership, but we still encourage you to try.
27. Don't fuck with the grill.
28. Obey the Scout_Law
29. It's not official until Andre starts a thread
34. If it exists, there is porn of it. No exceptions.
35. Plan B is wolverines. It always has been. Don't let Planned Parenthood try to tell you otherwise.
38. Yes, but no; should have been rule number 1, but ya know, something else came up. Rule 18 then applies.
42. Bring a towel. And a swimsuit.
83. If it's on the internet and it involves point83 in any way, we'll find it. we may also try to use it against you in a chance for lolz.