Long Haul Trucker Mother Fuckers

"Qua duos have certus tertius must insisto"

The Long Haul Trucker Mother Fuckers subcommittee (hereafter LHTMF) is comprised of all members of the Organization who ride Long Haul Truckers. LHTMF members who own or ride non-mutual LHTs are committed to a probationary sub-group called the Long Haul Trucker Non Mutual Mother Fuckers (LHTNMMF).

The LHTMF list presently includes:

• Andre
• Henry
• Lee
• Lucia
• Koos
• Kristen Wang Laser Heather
• Sketchy
• Zanimal
• Petejr
• Ethan
• Langston
• Monica
• Brandon
• Scott Ken
• Jon
• Garth
• This dude for being utterly metal

The LHTNMMF list presently includes:

• Ben the Angry Hippie, for his front fork.
• Joby on double super secret probation, both for his internally gear hub and bottom bracket.

The accepted equipment list:

All Long Haul Truckers must be equipped within the below standards. This credo is ensconced in the motto, literally "where two have decided the third must follow". Bicycles with approved equipment are social and mutual. Bicycles equipped differently are strange, frightening, and unmutual.

• Blue or Green Long Haul Trucker frame. Red must be granted special dispensation.
• Brooks B-17 saddle
• Full fenders with mud flaps - mandatory
• Nitto Noodle bars.
• Front Rack - preferably with a basket zip tied to it.
• Tubus Cargo rear rack
• Ortlieb panniers
• 11-34 9spd cassette
• Granny gear no larger than 26t
• 700c wheels are acceptable with 700x35 tires with tan sidewalls, preferably Panaracer Pasela or
• 26in wheels are acceptable with 26x1.75 tires or larger - preferably Schwalbe Marathons or Panaracer Smokes.
• LHTMF must possess a demonstrated ability/willingness to randomly carry an entire case of beer and/or firewood on a moments notice, with little more than a bungee cord. [1]

Failure to remedy these discrepancies will result in disciplinary action at the discretion of the LHTMF annual council.